Everyone knows the feeling of eating a bowl of ice-cream or having a glass of wine after pledging to stop. We say we’re going to eat and drink less, exercise more, stop smoking, be proactive, keep out of debt, get to bed at a decent hour—and then we fail completely to keep our … [Read more...] about The Art of Self-Regulation
If your life’s no fun, you may be plagued by inner passivity. If you’re feeling stuck, unsettled, weak, trapped, overwhelmed, or anxious, you’re very likely under the influence of inner passivity. As a description of a basic, clinical condition, the term inner passivity is … [Read more...] about Releasing Inner Passivity
“If self-control is so important,” a reader asks, “how are we supposed to achieve it?” Personally, I don’t much like the term “self-control.” It suggests a desperate struggle between willpower and cravings, or between restraint and impulses. The term promises endless … [Read more...] about How Do We Achieve Self-Control?
It’s curious that we humans get addicted to both substances and activities. On the substance side, people get hooked on drugs, alcohol, nicotine, sugar, and fat. We can also become addicted without substance abuse, in activities involving gambling, shopping, promiscuity, … [Read more...] about The Astonishing Basis of Our Addictions
This post is a revised and expanded version of an earlier post, “The Negative Emotions behind Addictions,” which was published here last October. In this version, I go into the heart of the emotional experience of the “helplessness trap” which addictive personalities experience … [Read more...] about The Helplessness Trap in Cravings & Addictions