We all like to think we’re motivated by self-interest, self-protection, and self-love. Consciously, we are. Unconsciously, though, we operate a misery-machine inside us that churns up self-defeat, self-damage, and self-rejection. A reference to a misery-machine is made by … [Read more...] about Mark Twain’s Mysterious Misery-Machine
negative emotions
The Problem with Positive Psychology
Most everyone is looking for happiness. The shopping malls of the self-help industry feature thousands of different methods, beliefs, and practices for finding it. Many of these approaches are of limited value, and we do ourselves a big favor by avoiding them. According to … [Read more...] about The Problem with Positive Psychology
Respect, Disrespect, and Self-Respect
A client of mine, Jill, complained that she was feeling disrespected by her husband, Jack. Indeed, he often mocked her and spoke to her sarcastically. He also had difficulty expressing his affection and appreciation for her. He had been raised in a family whose members had been … [Read more...] about Respect, Disrespect, and Self-Respect
The Negative Emotions Behind Addictions
I read this definition of an addiction on the internet: "An addiction is an unconscious way of coping with emotions." Yes, that's true, but a more precise definition is called for: An addiction is a self-defeating reaction to, or consequence of, unresolved negative … [Read more...] about The Negative Emotions Behind Addictions
Riding the Emotional Wave of Turbulent Times
I offer my sympathies to those among you who are in distress—emotionally and financially—over the economic and political crises plaguing America and the world. The problems may last for many more years, and people can help themselves considerably by staying emotionally … [Read more...] about Riding the Emotional Wave of Turbulent Times