If there’s one subject that ought to be required in the classroom, it’s the study of how we deceive ourselves. Self-deception occurs largely through unconscious mental activities that are associated with inner conflict. It’s as if mischievous imps are cavorting inside us, … [Read more...] about Don’t Be Duped by Your Defenses
inner critic
Our Compulsion to Self-Punish
For many of us, a steady stream of emotional self-punishment can feel as natural as breathing. The process of punishing oneself can operate so subtly that people don’t detect its pernicious nature. This is not a discussion of physical self-injury or self-harm such as skin … [Read more...] about Our Compulsion to Self-Punish
Understanding the Psyche of Boys
Boys are being bad, again. They’re displaying “a stunted masculinity,” says the cover story in the current issue of The Atlantic magazine. The article, titled “The Miseducation of the American Boy,” bemoans “the brutal language” of teenagers and young men whose primary values, … [Read more...] about Understanding the Psyche of Boys
Answers to Questions from Readers (Part 6)
Readers often send me emails with their comments and questions. Here I answer four of them, all dealing with different aspects of inner passivity. My responses are in italics. I wrote to you some months ago. Since then I’ve bought many of your books and read the new … [Read more...] about Answers to Questions from Readers (Part 6)
Inner Conflict is the Source of Cognitive Distortion
So much of human thinking is irrational. This kind of messed-up thinking, often referred to as cognitive distortion, perceives reality in ways that are misleading or flawed, if not completely wrong, false, or stupid. (Examples follow below and more are found … [Read more...] about Inner Conflict is the Source of Cognitive Distortion